I’M SO OVER IT ALL!
As this heart expands and contracts with every beat, it still feels numb.
With every breath I take, and even with the warmth of my skin, I still feel numb.
It’s all so lonely and opaque without love in this life.
A heart that aches for intimacy, romance, connection, closeness, and all things lovely;
eventually gives up.
Because eventually that heart closes up, gives up, becomes hardened, becomes resentful to all things lovely.
It sees love as something that is just for everyone else.
It doesn’t have hope; it loses longing and desire to be touched and loved with affection as it should be.
It sees itself as worthless, and not worthy of anything remotely like love.
This heart has fallen to pieces so many times, and now it’s as though, it will never see the light again nor experience this thing called love that everyone else is or has experience.
I need out, I need out of everything that is happening in my life (not that it’s all bad), I just need change.
I feel as though I’m just spinning my wheels and not going anywhere nor accomplishing anything.
It’s also as though there’s no one in this town, that would ever turn my head nor make heart come alive.
So with all this numbness I’m just ready to feel again, see something new, experience something new in my life that
is good, that is joyful, that is awe-inspiring, something that’s so real that only God could make it happen.
So here’s to change and hopefulness!